we have officially lost it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
