where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
