i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
