I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
