I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
