i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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