we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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