half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
