So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
