I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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