Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
