Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
