I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
