Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
