glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
