From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
