The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
