that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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