I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
