my room smells like sperm. sweet.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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