They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize