I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
there was a trapeze. enough said
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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