For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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