Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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