Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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