East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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