i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
