is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
