My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
