She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize