Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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