Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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