You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I checked into jail on foursquare
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
