it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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