I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm like, not good at living.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
