do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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