Me. At least after what I've been through.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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