if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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