If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize