So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
