but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
