the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My liver just had a heart attack.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
