I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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