He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
how drunk are you?
Several
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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