I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
