Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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