god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
