I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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