They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We had to coat check the pizza.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
