my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This is my gift to your gina
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
