Sry I called you an 8
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize