You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This baby is an asshole
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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