A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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