ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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