oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
