id be glad to
I have demons in me.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
