The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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