CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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