And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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